entropicmind666

29 incoming

omg it is 11:51 pm as we speak, I am still 28. i omg 11:52 don’t want to rely on external substances to make me feel better don’t want to absorb so much into much emotions anymore want to increase my sense of joy, hopefulness and meaning in life omg 11:53 want to be aContinue reading “29 incoming”

edgar allan hoe

it’s a beautiful summer day out. i should be feeling at ease in this uncomfortable yet aesthetically fitting wicker armchair, overlooking the beautiful lake nipissing. no intrusive urban buzzing, no emails or urgent communication requests, just pure vibes. i am situated above my family on the upper deck partaking in their joy at a distance,Continue reading “edgar allan hoe”

my aachi, my forever love

trigger warning: loss, trauma, suicide, genocide, war, grief my aachi (grandmother), is the most resilient, headstrong, authentic person I know. she lost her eldest son, 12 or 13 at the time, due to a tragic lightning strike in eelam. his charred body dropped lifelessly right in front of her eyes. her second child and eldestContinue reading “my aachi, my forever love”

just a small brown girl livin’ in a lonely world

i love someone and no, not exactly romantically. I mean.. like… do I fantasize about dating them? sometimes… especially at night when I make up scenarios in my head to go to sleep. however that’s always been me, the queen of limerence. i innately feel that we are in each others lives at this timeContinue reading “just a small brown girl livin’ in a lonely world”

april showers bring may flowers

happy last day of april everybody aka bug’s bunny’s day (apparently he was debuted today as “the happy rabbit”). i am happy to report that this month was beyond subpar for me. i actually managed to do significantly more things that bring me joy and wanted to share. started weight training again (ngl… my trainerContinue reading “april showers bring may flowers”

emotionally unavailable ramen guy

the best ramen i’ve ever had in my entire life was actually at a spot nestled in my neighbourhood in a certain area i rarely ever frequent. i had it for the first time 7 years ago on a frigid, rainy day with my father and brother. i love eating ramen in the rain…they wereContinue reading “emotionally unavailable ramen guy”

re-introduction (ft. grief)

hi i just read my initial introduction and i am gleaming with how innocent i was in terms of… not being tainted with grief and loss. BUT HELLO, it is me, my-the-ray-yi. I’d love to actually spell out my full government name but it is a very unique spelling and in this job market iContinue reading “re-introduction (ft. grief)”

non dualist monotheism?

im not a religious person. i dont not have any intentions of offending. i believe in critical dialogue and thought. please feel free to let me know what you think i grew up with hindu symbology that i still resonate with, but i wouldnt call myself a worshipping hindu. to be honest “hindu” triggers meContinue reading “non dualist monotheism?”

mundane pleasures

living for the small stuff is…liberating. knowing that at least one thing is constant in your life, the sunrise and set. the moon and the stars, that moldy looking birthmark you want to lazer off. the mundane-est aspects in our physical world can distract us from cognitive ambiguities, from the constant grappling with what’s nextContinue reading “mundane pleasures”

ahhh formalities

hello!! thank you for stopping by.. uhh i dont know if im comfortorable using my whole ass government name on here but a little bit about me… im currently doing my masters in international development studies. I am academically and i guess overall holistically? passionate about psychology and anti/de colonial theory. i am a firmContinue reading “ahhh formalities”