hello!!
thank you for stopping by.. uhh i dont know if im comfortorable using my whole ass government name on here but a little bit about me… im currently doing my masters in international development studies. I am academically and i guess overall holistically? passionate about psychology and anti/de colonial theory. i am a firm anti-capitalist and an anarchist idealist. i am passionate about liberation: colonial, cognitive, metaphysical. i hate using capital letters, i hate professionalism, i hate small talk, i hate socially acceptable norms of cognitive~emotional inhibition.
i love conspiracies, anything to do with aliens, the occult, witchcraft, demonology, satanism, astrology, philosophy, mythology, spirituality, religion, (hate how people weaponize it though), horror movies, learning about death, uncovering subliminal truths ..the list goes on and on….
my personality type is injf but im critical of it since it is a based off a eurocentric personality test measure. i am almost critical of everything and this leads me to tirelessly entertain a vacuum of contradiction… which brings me to my astrological signs, and general “brand” of the-balls-of-gas-in-the-sky determined existence? before i get into this i do this a lot.. undermine abstract “subjectivities” with science but then simultaneously shit on science to accommodate for the unobservable magic i believe this world contains.. stars being balls of gas, humans being comprised of the same extraterrestrial start dust, so of course there is some innate thing that connects us to the physical universe (which is “science” anyways, since all matter here originated from space… ANYWAYS),
according to western astrology i am a leo, ive always felt like one growing up but up until a few years ago ive identified more with being a cancer (which coincidentally happened during the revealing of the “new” zodiac timelines). yes i am on the cusp of both signs and i know some people hate the cusp-ies, trying to have it all like the avatar…but i swear, i am both fire and water, sun and moon, leo and cancer… been drawn to both elements since i was younger. how romantically contradictory.
my tamil sign is bharani- ruled by my favourite goddess kali the goddess of chaos, destruction, creation and preservation. my ruling planet is venus *giggity*. bharani’s are known to have contradictory natures as well. im not entirely knowledgeable about my tamil sign but im determined to learn more about it.. from a woman though or an aghori….someone who isn’t ridden in vedic practice. (im not a hindu… i dont call myself one anyways but i do resonate with some vedic hindu symbology but i prefer tantric shaivism aka a more chaotic, “raunchier” framework…but that is a whole blog post in itself)
since my “brand” is basically walking contradiction. (which btw very well ties into my personality type, yes the one i am critical about), I like to call myself a “schrodinger spiritualist” (i will do a lengthy blog post on this too soon since i have so many things to say)…but in layman’s terms.. or kumaran’s terms to decolonize the latter, everything is and isn’t at the same time. i think that contradictions are often perceived as polarized to extreme opposing spectrums, so i approach my entanglement *giggity* with contradictions, with a non-dualist epistemology.
OHHH and my numbers are 369. CRAZY right? who knows i actually might be the avatar.
yes i just used capital letters.
hope to see u soon? 🙂
love light and lysteria
yours truly
m
“When things don’t change any longer, that’s the end result of entropy, the heat-death of the universe. The more things go on moving, interrelating, conflicting, changing, the less balance there is – and the more life.”
Ursula K. Le Guin, The Lathe of Heaven
cognitive chaos 